Yo mama so loose, when she spreads her legs, she asks for exact fare.

I wonder who the denominator of the two is.

Everything was going great and they were getting along really well, when out of nowhere the woman commented on the size of the man’s hands and feet. "I didn't notice earlier, but you have remarkably small hands and feet!" The man taken aback by such an unexpected observation thought quickly and replied somewhat flirtatiously, "Well, it’s because my testosterone focused on other parts of my body, if you know what I mean..." giving the woman a cheeky wink as he finished speaking. The woman, rather impressed and turned on by his smooth response slides across closer to the man and puts her hand on his thigh, at which point the guy continued, "Yeah, I have a really hairy back."

It really sucks to make a difficult cut only to be kicked out later. I should know, the same thing happened to me when I converted to Judaism.

Pity.

I always seem to lose focus.

When the Uber arrived she got into the car and, deciding to make small talk, she asked the driver a question, but he didn’t answer. Curiously, she tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention and he let out a blood curdling scream. He jerked the car to the shoulder of the road and the car came to a hard stop as he slammed on the brakes. They both gasped in shock from what just happened. The woman caught her breath and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that touching you on the shoulder would scare you.” The driver replied, “It’s not your fault. This is my first time driving an Uber. For the past twenty-five years I’ve been driving hearses.”

Peanut butter and jellyfish…

Or do I?

The college umpire says, "I call 'em the way I see 'em." The minor league umpire says, "I call 'em the way they are." The major league umpire says, "They ain't anything, until I call 'em."

HEXagon